MS NEWS To be a woman: Education, rights, domestic abuse, femicides

At Central Michigan University, a hub of cultural backgrounds from the increasing number of international students across 70 countries, women are experiencing cultural differences regarding education, legislation, femicides, sexual assault, domestic abuse, marriages and general norms in each community. 

In the United States, women have the right to vote, to receive an education, to get a job, to choose who they want to marry or divorce and depending on the state, whether they want to get an abortion. However, each of these developments took time. 

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Since the 1800s, women in the U.S. were protesting to gain the right to vote. In 1920, the 19th amendment was ratified to do just that, according to National Archives.

According to the peer-reviewed content online database Gale, in 1848, equal efforts for women in the U.S. to obtain a college education began after the lack of furthering educational opportunities for women was recognized at the Seneca Falls Convention. 

Around the 1900s, most women in the U.S. only worked inside their homes, which included not only housekeeping and taking care of the children, but also handling family businesses and potentially selling and producing agricultural goods, an article by the Brookings Institution said. However, those who worked outside of the house were mostly young unmarried women. 

According to the Census Bureau sited by Brookings, 20% of women in the U.S. were “gainful workers,” which were women working outside the home, whereas only 5% of those married were accounted as such. The article said these statistics do not count the extra work married women were doing with family businesses. 

Additionally, the statistics mentioned are not substantial when taking into consideration the experiences from women of different races. Black women were twice as likely to be in the labor force as white women in the 1900s and were more likely to continue to participate after marriage, Brookings said. 

In an interview with Central Michigan Life, two international students attending CMU voiced the differences they have lived in their home country, compared to the U.S. 

Andhra Pradesh, South India

Vvenkata Sudha Lakshmi Saraswathi Nemani is a 30-year-old graduate student getting her master’s in project management. Nemani is currently in her first year of her master’s and it is her first time being in the U.S. 

In India, she said the culture is more dependent on elders. Therefore, each generation needs to seek guidance from their elders with respect to the values and traditions being followed. In the U.S., she said, people are much more independent.

Families are also very conservative in South India, Nemani said. Women have limited chances to expose themselves in the work field and when it comes to asking how women are treated equal to men, Nemani said people look at the physical aspects. 

“(Society in South India) fails to understand that it is not about that physical equality,” she said. “It is about the cerebral opportunities. But now, currently, they are developing their mindsets. So, it’s still an ongoing process.”  

According to a study conducted by Pew Research about women’s place in society in India, out of 29,999 Indian adults surveyed, 81% of Hindus and 76% of Muslims said it is very important that women have the same rights as men. 

In total, the survey respondents included 22,975 Hindus, 3,336 Muslims, 1,782 Sikhs, 1,011 Christians, 719 Buddhists, 109 Jains and 67 respondents who belonged to another religion or do not identify with a religion. 

However, the general consensus of respondents showed that 80% of respondents believe that if there were a job shortage, men should have more rights to a job than women, and 56% completely agreed with the statement. Therefore, a majority of survey respondents strongly feel men deserve opportunities before women, regardless of a scenario. 

In comparison, Nemani said the U.S. has a “beautiful culture” where Americans, especially women, get to live their own lives, have personal goals without influence, concentrate on their careers and look after their family.

“It's up to (American women) whether to (make) a decision or not, but in India, it's completely in contrast with us,” she said. “Just to (make) a small decision, we need to consult so many people; we need to (get) so many permissions to make a very formal procedure happen.”

In response to this process, Nemani said it is exhausting, but her family leans liberally; therefore, her relationship with her parents and grandparents have shown to be supportive in the decisions she has been able to make. 

“(Nemani’s father) was like, ‘his daughter should be getting the best education in the world’,” she said. “‘She should be standing on her own feet. She shouldn't be dependent on anybody’.”

When Nemani was 22 years old, she was in an arranged marriage and experienced domestic abuse in the seven-year long commitment until she filed for a divorce. In India, she said, there are many domestic abuse cases. 

“Initially, I couldn't voice ... my opinion,” she said. “Later on, with the help of my parents, I did. I fought back. I gained my independence, my life, and now I'm getting back on track.”

According to the peer-reviewed academic journal Economic and Political Weekly, more than half the populations in the states: Tamil Nadu (TN), Karnataka (KA), Kerala (KL), Telangana (TL) and Andhra Pradesh (AP) justify violence, with over 80% in TL, AP and KA justifying it. 

The global average for violence experienced by women is 30%, meaning 1 out of 3 women experience abuse, as reported by the World Health Organization. In India, 32% of married women experience some sort of violence: physical (28%), emotional (14%) and sexual (6%), according to statistics gathered by the National Institutes of Health. 

Nemani said she had grown close to her father-in-law, and that he was very genuine when they would be in each other’s company. 

“He’s the only reason why I kept battling for my life,” she said. “He was the only hope that this relationship could work. … But later on, I lost all hope. It was no use fighting back.”

It took her a seven-year process to finalize her decision for a divorce, Nemani said. Her initial thought when she got married was to secure the relationship at any cost, and if nothing is working, then at least she could live without any regrets knowing she tried to make it work. 

“I have to answer myself first, and then society,” she said.

However, that was one of the hardest parts for Nemani -- the first step. She said the need for approval from society was hurting her the most.

“To label that person, he was toxic,” she said. “And to give that label to that person, I needed hundreds of approvals. I was like: 'Guys just shut up. I've been in that relationship. I've faced the toxicity from that person. Why do I need your approval?'”

When talking to other extended families and friends about her marriage, Nemani said she kept hearing the same thoughts. 

“It’s OK,” Nemani said, repeating the comments said to her in India. “It is common in marriage (for) the partner to be toxic. You have to take time. You have to bear with them. Eventually, they will understand you, and then the relationship will be saved.”

“But not at the cost of your own life,” Nemani continued. Her parents, she said, were very strong and supported her in that time she needed them.

“Just move on with your life,” she said, repeating what her parents said in response to getting a divorce. “We do not need any money. We just need your life. We just need you alive.”

Nemani said it takes much longer for a domestic divorce case in India to go through the court system than it does in the U.S. Additionally, in India, the outcome is typically a compromise or some kind of compensation.

“You just throw some money on her face and ask her to get out of this relationship,” Nemani said. “It happens like that. Meanwhile, in this entire process, they keep communicating with you indirectly. Like ‘I'm going to offer you this much for sabotaging your life, which is … it's like demeaning the women’s character.” 

Nemani said most divorce cases are settled out of court so they don't interfere with possible future proposals for the man. In the finalization of her divorce, Nemani said she was asked to take money on numerous accounts and she refused any personal payment. Instead, she asked that her father be reimbursed for the money he saved for 15 years to go towards the wedding, which her family successfully received . 

At least two years after the arranged marriage, Nemani said she was very cautious about people. 

“I was so afraid to believe in people,” she said. “Inititally, when I was married, I was in the mentality that I love joint families. I love mingling with people, being social, raising my family, just being a housewife. I was not very out-going. It’s just me and my family — raising a family right and ensuring they get the best education, that was my only focus.” 

But after experiencing domestic abuse, Nemani said it completely shifted her outlook by concentrating on herself and what makes her happy. 

“Previously, I used to react more to situations,” she said. “But later on, I progressed to respond to situations rather than reacting immediately. So yeah, it's good. I can see the change.”

Additionally, Nemani said for a while she felt that all men were the same — they are all toxic in different ways. It was her father, the man that stood by her side for every decision she made, that reminded her there are good men in the world who respect women, she said.

“South America, or India or whatever nation it is, women are women,” Nemani said. “They are strong … I've seen (women) being a mother, being the CEO on the other side, … looking after her family, after her husband, her in-laws, her extended family. She's very good at multitasking. 

“So, women, please put your heads up. Just live your way.”

Madrid, Spain

Coming from Madrid, Carolina Hernandez Ruiz is in her junior year at CMU studying for her major in neuroscience and a minor in finance. She serves as the International Students Service Liaison for the Student Government Association and has been in the U.S. for four years since high school. 

Hernandez Ruiz said she grew up by the capitol in Madrid so she has always been used to being in crowds of people and taking the metro. 

Women in Spain are independent in that they take public transportation and are focused on receiving an education and working, she said. 

Similar to Nemani, Hernandez Ruiz observed that Americans are also very independent. So much so that she noticed Americans drive their own vehicles and try to avoid public transportation unless it is absolutely necessary. 

“Everyone (Americans) (says), 'my stuff, my things, I don't want to be touched or surrounded by people,'” Hernandez Ruiz said. “In Spain, that's not the common norm because I mean, yeah, people have cars, but to go to your daily activities, going to work, school, whatever it may be, you usually are surrounded by people.” 

In America, this makes many people uncomfortable — especially women. Hernandez Ruiz said people in Spain are very close with family — after school, university or work, most of the time people are going back to their parents' home where they grew up. 

“You can be with your parents when you're 20, 25 maybe 30,” she said. “That's normal. 

"I feel like, here, when you're 18, your parents are like, ‘you go to college and you'll never come back, right?’”

The stigma in America is a “workaholic” mindset, Hernandez Ruiz said. Therefore, after college there is this pressure to move out and immediately settle down in a professional career. But if that doesn’t happen, you are considered a failure, she said.  

Another mindset many American women have is this idealized perspective of finding their soulmate in college or in high school, Hernandez Ruiz said. It can be very sweet, but also women are having children or getting married around 20 to 22 years old, she said. 

The average marriage age for women in Spain is around 27 years old and then about 30 years old for having children, Hernandez Ruiz said.  

“Because in Spain (it) is very emphasized, the fact of getting an education,” she said. “So women … go to high school, they go to college … and then they become professionals. And once they have a stable job, (and) they have a stable place — they move out of their house … (that’s) when they find someone.”

A part of the college experience at CMU includes fraternities, sororities, going to Wayside when students reach 18 and having to live in a dorm for the first two years. Hernandez Ruiz mentioned that in many of the dorms, students can only lock the main door, but not their bedroom door. However, she is able to lock hers since she lives in a unique living space in Celani Hall as an inclusion assistant. 

In Spain, this is not even a possibility: students return to their family home after classes or going out. 

“I feel like women (here) are a little more vulnerable from that point of view,” she said. “Because, again, when you're just in your home, you know your parents are in your house. So, (there is a) level of, like, the different situations that might happen. That's not possible in Spain.”

As for the drinking age in Madrid, young adults can start drinking at 18 years old, but in the U.S., it isn’t until 21. Therefore, Hernandez Ruiz said, women in Spain are able to establish being more self-aware at a young age and learn how to set boundaries, since they are integrating into mature experiences early on. 

“I will say that Spain is relatively safe because we don't own guns,” she said. “The only people who have guns (are) police. … So, if anything ever happens in Madrid or in Spain, it will be someone with like a knife.” 

According to the European Institute for Gender Equality, in 2021, there were 45 women killed by an intimate partner and 15 women killed by a family member in Spain. In 2023, there were 1,224 reported femicides since 2003 in Spain, CBS News reported. 

“I will say Spain is a pretty good feminist country, in a sense that a lot of more women are speaking up and they're trying to collaborate with each other, and people are defending their rights again, because now they have their education,” Hernandez Ruiz said. 

She said that sexual assault and domestic abuse are very prevalent issues in Spain. However, there has been more awareness on these instances and femicides in recent years, with social media.  

“I feel like here a woman can also buy a gun so they can also defend themselves in a way,” Hernandez Ruiz said. “But I will say in Spain, when those kind of situations happen, I feel like most of the cases is because the woman is dependent on the man." 

There has also been a stigma in Spain where women are blamed for marrying the husband in the first place. Hernandez Ruiz said this is a big issue because in the past, when women have spoken up about the way her husband treats her, she disappears. 

The justice system in Spain is a very lengthy process, she said. Therefore, when these situations happen it takes a long time for an outcome. 

In 2022, Spain’s Sex Liberty Law, or ley del solo sí es sí (‘only yes means yes’) was passed in October originally to increase protection for women by not having to provide proof of consent in sexual assault cases, AP News reported. 

However, in April 2023, Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez made a public apology since the law had created loopholes which resulted in the reduction of sentences for 978 offenders and the early release of 104 convicts, according to AP News. 

“We have to be careful where you go and that is a sad reality,” Hernandez Ruiz said.

Hernandez Ruiz commented on the origin of the Sex Liberty Law coming from a gang rape case that happened in 2016 at the running of the bull's festival in Spain. 

The group of five men included two police officers and they recorded everything. In 2018, the court found the men guilty of “sexual abuse” rather than justifying it as rape, The Guardian reported.

According to the article, the result was because the judges believed the plaintiff had not consented, but since she had not been violently coerced, that prevented them for qualifying it as rape. 

One of the three judges had voted to clear the men of their sentence because in the video the men had taken, he said the act was “an atmosphere of revelry and joy,” the article said. 

Shortly after, thousands of women all over Spain had protested in the streets, making it Spain’s largest spontaneous feminist uprising in living memory, according to The Guardian.

Recently, on March 8, women in Spain marched for International Women’s Day to protest against gender inequality, according to Reuters.

On the same day, Spain's Equality Minister Ana Redondo announced the government would revive a human trafficking law which was proposed last year but was not passed. The legislation would make it so victims would not have to make an official report for claims about alleged traffickers, Reuters said. 

In February of 2023, Spain underwent several legislation changes: 16 and 17 year olds can get an abortion without parental consent, period products are now free and available in schools and prisons and women are allowed menstrual leave to get paid time off from work, Aljazeera reported. 

Hernandez Ruiz said every woman should be proud of being a woman. It is also important to remember the many women that came before and the efforts they made while experiencing injustice and not take that for granted.

“Here (in America) you are have so many privileges,” she said. “There might be a lot of barriers, but you can still climb the ladder. In other countries it doesn't matter how hard you work you cannot. … So, I think it's also very important to appreciate those things that we have, and also to advocate for the other women in the world that doesn't have that yet. 

“We (women) have come a long way. So, just keep pushing forward and create an impact on the world.”