First time experiences — they are either horrible or great. Although you will come across people who say, “It wasn’t good or bad,” or “It was alright,” we both know they really want to say, “Never doing that again.”

Luckily, my first time with cannabis was great, but whenever I tell this story, you could just about mistake me for being on LSD or something. Now, I know, already that sounds like a suspicious encounter, but let me explain.

And before I do get into my first experience with Ms. Mary J., in no way is my testimony going to be the same as anyone else’s. Maybe your first-time experience hasn’t even happened and you found this story — remember to just take it slow and maybe learn a few lessons from what I went through. And for those that are experienced users, well, enjoy.

I was visiting a friend's house (let’s call her Samantha), and we had previously talked about wanting to try cannabis. We knew her parents enjoyed some green every now and then since we could get whiffs of it sometimes when walking past their room. So, when I was at Samantha’s place and her parents weren’t home — you best believe we did some snooping like any teenaged fiend would.

After probably not even 15 minutes of searching with Samantha’s dog following us like it was a group treasure hunt, Samantha found a ziplock bag with a few gummies in it. I remember how both of our eyes lit up and my heart was racing from nerves of excitement and anticipation. Samantha’s dog was just as excited as we were, thinking she was going to get a nibble herself. This would have certainly been an entirely different story if that were the case.

There were only two bright red sugar-coated gummies, and all I remember was Samantha and me in the kitchen trying to figure out how much to take. I think our bold teenaged selves took one each — no point in leaving one for her parents, I guess. The next thing I remember was being on her couch watching T.V. I felt so sunken into that couch that could have been convinced I was a part of it if I didn’t think about it too much.

At one point, I slowly turned my head over to Samantha and asked her “Bro, are you feeling it?” And her squinted eyes found their way to mine, and she said, “Yeah, are you?” We both laughed looking at each other’s very obviously high expressions — eyes red and almost as closed as they could be.

I turned back to the T.V. and all I could see was "Shake it Up" on Disney Channel — some of the characters were dancing looking right at me and I had said out loud something along the lines of “When did we put on 'Shake it Up'?” And Samantha started cracking up like I had just pulled the greatest one-liner out of existence and asked me if I was being serious.

Of course, I was like “Uh yeah?”

“We’ve been watching SpongeBob this whole time,” she said.

Next thing I knew, I turned back to the TV and couldn’t believe my eyes — Spongebob was on screen talking to Patrick and I felt like Patrick in that moment. That was truly one of the greatest laughs I had, but also to this day, one of the most confusing highs; I still cannot explain how it had that much of an effect on me.

Unfortunately, all I really remember after that was the panic from my mom texting me that she was coming to pick me up and the two tuna sandwiches she made for me since I said I was exhausted and hadn’t eaten anything. Then, with my gut full like a beer-bellied man after a long day of work, I had an incredible nap.

So, if you take away anything from reading this, let it be to never take an edible when you have no idea how much is in it — especially for your first time. There are instances like mine where it went fine because I was in a comfortable place with someone I knew very well, but with even just one slip of a thought, I certainly could have spiraled into a horrible first high.

Additionally, I don’t typically recommend edibles to anyone who is going to get high for their first time. I always recommend to just take a puff off a joint so you are more in control of the amount you are taking, rather than giving yourself over to the unpredictable highs of edibles.

Take it slow, be with people you are comfortable with and in a space where you feel safe.