COLUMN: Struggles in the life of a first generation college student
As I stare at the library computer screen the words blend together. I read each line 10 times and still nothing makes sense to me. I go home and ask my dad if he knows anything about financial aid. He laughs at me.
From the beginning, college has never been easy. I am in my junior year and the pressure of internships and the start of a career press on me. Still, I have no one to talk to.
I always knew coming to a university was what I wanted to do, and I never let anything hold me back. Believing in myself has been most important in getting where I am today.
I am a first generation college student. My mother told me when she was young she had never thought of college and it was never an option for her. Being a middle child and taking a road my family is so unfamiliar with, I struggle to even find comfort with friends.
To this day, my parents live below the poverty line.
Throughout my childhood, my parents were always beneath the poverty line and it took me years to learn I was different.
I remember when my parents lost our house my sophomore year of high school, the house I had lived in for 13 years. I have no idea what we would have done if it wasn’t for my band teacher who let my parents move into his rental house for a low price.
I never understood why I had to work harder than everyone else, until I came to college.
I sat in one of my Photojournalism classes and the teacher began talking about poverty and the importance to photograph it. He started talking about what it means to live in poverty. As he explained, I realized what he was explaining sounded familiar to my childhood.
That Christmas, I went home and asked my mom if we truly lived in poverty. She laughed.
“I have always lived in poverty, Daytona,” she said.
I don’t think anyone tried to hide it from me, or that I was just too stupid to notice. I just hid it from myself.
Still to this day I feel I have to work harder than most, living in a town surrounded by a majority of middle-class young adults. I struggle to connect with others.
I have seen cars nicer than my parents', owned by students younger than me.
I have worked two jobs for almost two years and still struggle to pay rent.
I have had many phone calls with my mother crying about how my bank account is in the negatives and how I don’t know what to do. She had little to no advice.
I often worry, and not having anyone to relate to me it makes it 10 times worse.
I was given no opportunities, no one pushed me, no one told me I had to do this. I walk this campus because I want to.
I am not here to just get it over with and get my degree. I am not here because they told me to. I am here because no matter where I'm from, I deserve to do what I love every day like everyone else.
Society told me I couldn’t, but I strive to prove them wrong.
