Getting rid of the closet
This week is Coming Out Week – a celebration of coming out of the closet, and proclaiming your sexuality to all, in order to feel comfortable with yourself.
Why don’t we call it "Being Me Week" instead?
National Coming Out Day is Oct. 11, the anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. The week celebrates coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer, and it is an opportunity for people to celebrate who they are and who their community is.
The Human Rights Campaign website states that “one of our most basic tools is the power of coming out.”
Is it really? What about our most powerful tool?
Being comfortable with who you are, as well as accepting others, is our most powerful tool as a generation.
As someone who has had the displeasure of coming out twice, the idea of Coming Out Week is regressive.
Yes, twice. And the second time was harder than the first.
I’ve dated women, and now I’m dating a man.
Maybe I’ll break up and date a woman. Maybe another man. Or maybe I’ll be in this relationship for the long haul.
Who cares?
Apparently, society does. I don’t. And you shouldn’t either.
Why I felt the need to hide my boyfriend from my family and some of my friends is beyond me. Maybe it was because they had already accepted me as an out-and-proud lesbian. Maybe it was because I was worried they wouldn’t accept him.
Or maybe it was because I think it’s asinine to declare, and proclaim, your sexuality. Maybe I didn’t really feel like going through the whole ordeal again.
I attended a very conservative school district where, unfortunately, bullying was a part of my high school experience. I was 16. I was already “out” and I was proud.
Growing up in a liberal Catholic household, my family accepted me. My friends accepted me. Most importantly, I was okay being me. Just because I was dating a girl didn’t mean I was any different.
Fast-forward seven years and a few break-ups later.
We have an American president who has openly supported gay rights. More recently, the Supreme Court chose not to get involved in the national debate over same-sex marriage, ultimately bringing the number of states where gays and lesbians can marry to 30.
Our society is changing. And just because I’m dating a guy doesn’t mean I’m any different.
We live in a community where 68 percent of millennials are in favor of equal marriage, according to the Pew Research Center. We are a generation defining ourselves around equality.
So why aren’t we thinking progressively when it comes to coming out? Why don’t we get rid of the closets, stop hiding and start celebrating who we are instead of forcing ourselves into one of the many boxes Americans like to put themselves and others into?
I don’t identify as a lesbian anymore. But I also don’t identify as straight. Is there really so much wrong with choosing to be me instead?
I don’t need a title. I’ll save that for when I enter the workforce.
