COLUMN: March Madness did not harm the quality of this newspaper
I have fond memories of March Madness.
It was me in the back row of my Biology 101 class. I was watching Michigan pummel Tennessee. My professor was lecturing ... about animals. It was one of those freshman requirement classes, which meant literally half of the college was stuffed in an auditorium. I was safe to cuddle up in the back row and disappear.
But, that was a freshman self. I'm more mature now. I pay my own rent now. I've got my own car; it barely runs, but that's beside the point.
I even pass 10 percent more of my classes. I've transformed into a responsible adult. I would never watch basketball in an educational setting.
And, I certainly wouldn't watch it in the newsroom.
The first two days of March Madness will cost businesses at least $134 million in lost productivity, says the Orlando Business Journal, citing the most overused statistic of all time.
But, I can personally guarantee you, faithful, captivated newspaper reader, that Central Michigan Life is in no way affected by this so-called March Madness.
We did not have a group of employees who would typically be slaving away all day in a secluded corner huddle like hungry masses in front of a 24-inch television.
Our editor-in-chief, the example of all that is right in journalism, did not, by any means, swing out of his office every three minutes to check the latest score.
And I, certainly, one of the most dedicated, hard-working , and, most importantly, humble student journalists of this generation did not spend my entire day admiring Charles Barkley's bald head.
No, CM Life is above such paltry interests. We would never be distracted by ...
Holy hell, Memphis almost lost to Saint Mary's. That's not even fair. My bracket was almost ruined. No one ever picks Saint Mary's.
Oh wait, what was I talking about? I kind of lost my train of thought.
The point is, my dear reader, whom I will gladly jump in front of a bus for, that CM Life will under no circumstances contribute a single penny to that $124 million of wasted money. It might also be $134 million.
I'm going to have to leave the fact checking to you; Gonzaga is only up two points against Southern, and I can't afford to take my eyes off the screen.
Which might also be why the top half and the bottom half of this column really don't match up.
But really, that's besides the point.
The important thing is that Michigan State won and what you hold in your hands is the same high-quality newspaper you hold every day, with no future corrections, or spelling errors or clear biases.
We did not misquote a single one of you, and we certainly never misspelled any of your names.
What you hold in front of you is a perfect document of journalism, in no ways affected by the plight of college basketball.
After reading this column, I'm sure you have no doubt.
