Dear Design: Living with a boyfriend, time management, interracial relationships
What is your advice for a successful stress-free, first-time experience of living with your boyfriend or girlfriend?
I have also made arrangements to live with my boyfriend next year, but I have a lot less worries.
Keep in mind that while he is your boyfriend, he is also your roommate now. Treat him that way. If your roommate was leaving dishes in the sink, you would ask her to do them, so ask him too.
Just because he’s your boyfriend doesn’t mean you have to walk on eggshells to keep each other happy; he’d probably be more understanding than a regular roommate anyway.
Learn to pick your battles. If he leaves you without any toothpaste, just go buy some more. That way, when there’s a larger problem, he won’t feel like you’re attacking him all the time about little things and won’t become automatically defensive.
Do things apart. Spend time with friends and do solo activities. You may end up looking back on those first months of living together before marriage, kids and bills as some of your best times together.
-Chelsea
How can I truly make the most out of my time before spring break so I can have fun with my friends and be academically successful, while not letting this rush to the break destroy me?
I feel your pain. With a full-time schedule, it’ s always hard to find time to just relax.
Don’t let it get the best of you though. You can manage your time and get things done in order to maintain a social life.
Make a to-do list. Prioritize the list and work on it between classes, work and before bed.
Also, I do homework with my roommates and friends frequently. It’s a great way to socialize and get things done simultaneously.
But don’t give up homework time to hang out with friends. I’ve made that mistake once or twice, and it has resulted in several all-nighters.
Your friends will understand if you have more important things to do. And if they don’t, then at least you’re doing what is right for you.
-Amelia
Can you talk about interracial and intercultural relationships and how to deal with miscommunications, customs and practices? How do you know he or she is the right one for you?
Being Chaldean has given me the opportunity to know what interracial and intercultural relationships are all about.
It’s tough to have a different background than your boyfriend or girlfriend, but it doesn’t mean it can’t work.
My culture and race have always differed from my boyfriends' and friends'. In order to make it work, you need to have an open mind. However, I can’t tell you if he or she is the right one for you. That is something you discover along the way.
If you’re happy and you don’t have second thoughts or question your relationship, then chances are you’re in the right place. In all honesty, don’t focus on if he or she is right for you, just focus on yourself and your relationship.
Take the time to be happy instead of looking for the answers.
-Amelia
