Goalie defeats Costanzo in final shot for glory
This is the final installment of a weekly series in which Central Michigan Life senior sports writer Paul Costanzo competes with athletes from various CMU sports.
Streaks are meant to come to an end.
The late Joe Dimaggio didn’t get a hit in his 57th consecutive game.
John Wooden’s UCLA Bruins couldn’t win their 88th consecutive game against Digger Phelps and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.
I’ll even bet that one day, Derek Jeter will get a hit again.
So why should I be any different?
I have endured my fair share of losing since starting to compete against the best athletes CMU has to offer. In fact, besides the three points that Jason Mester gave me in the 43-3 debacle I called a wrestling match, I have yet to score or make a dent in any competition.
With one challenge to go, I now felt desperation settling in. I needed a win, and I needed one bad.
The only problem was finding an event I could win.
Lets take a look at my options.
•Baseball: Haven’t played since the fifth grade, and even then I only amassed two hits the whole season.
- Softball: Amber Puchalski. Ha!
- Cross Country: I was tired enough after the 60 meters against Johnie Drake.
- Football: Senior tackle Adam Kieft said he’d do it. I like having all of my body parts in one piece, so I said I wouldn’t.
- Field Hockey: There’s nowhere to play.
So that left me with soccer. I played when I was little and I had a little bit of success. My travel team played at the Palace when I was in seventh grade and my team won 6-5. I had two assists.
I mainly played defense, and my strong points were passing, dribbling and defending.
I played goalie one time and it was because we were winning by five goals.
The only memory I had of that experience didn’t even deal with me making a save or even getting scored on for that matter.
There was a lull in the action, and my team was continuing to dominate.
Well, I was bored and I had to urinate, so I decided to make the game more exciting. Of course, as soon as I started, the action turned around and came my way, forcing me to hastily quit and get ready for action.
To this day I can’t watch the beer bottle scene in “Dumb and Dumber” without cringing.
Either way, soccer was my best option, so I challenged freshman goalkeeper Anne Decker.
The problem with a one-on-one challenge against a goalie is my best attributes, dribbling, defending and passing, were nullified.
I played the back-line for a reason: I couldn’t shoot.
But being unable to do things hadn’t stopped me in the past, so I went with it.
We agreed to a game called “goalie wars,” where two goals were set up about 20-25 yards apart. Basically you take turns trying to score on the other person, and the first to four wins.
I got to go first, and I started off strong. Maybe a little too strong, as I kicked the ball about 10 feet above the goal.
We both missed our next few shots, before Decker put one on net. I did a good job tracking it down, but the force of the ball broke my wrists and the ball ended up in the net anyway.
She scored again before I did the unthinkable — I scored. I was in such a state of euphoria that I even made a diving stop on Decker’s next shot.
“You’re form was horrible,” said soccer coach Tony DiTucci. “But the effort was good.”
I think I’ll take that as a compliment. At this point, nothing could bring me down. Well except Decker scoring the next two goals, which she did.
To make matters worse, Decker hummed the CMU fight song as she ran over to help me up.
I wanted more, however, and we lined up for another goalie war.
If you thought me scoring was improbable, listen to this. In this game, I scored first.
I could sense the end of my streak, it was only three goals away.
Unfortunately for me, Decker scored the next four goals.
My dreams were shattered. My streak would stay alive throughout the summer.
Then my friend Mike Haight gave me some words of encouragement.
“As high as you kicked the ball, you should try field goals,” he said.
Did ya’ hear that Mike Gruzwalski? Get ready, cause I’m coming for you.
Life senior sports writer Paul Costanzo can be reached for comment at sports@cm-life.com.
