A little too easy to say good-bye
Greg BurghardtEvery Monday I spend time surfing the Internet looking for a funny tidbit from across the world — something we call ETC.
ETC is supposed to be funny; this week, however, I think it has gone too far.
Reading today’s ETC (down and to the left of the page) I was shocked to see that Malaysian Muslim men can now divorce their wives through text messages on their mobile phones.
All the man has to do is write “I divorce you” three times. Islamic law permits divorce via short messaging service.
I don’t know if only the men can do this or if women also can divorce their spouses. Another question is how many married couples have text messaging in Malaysia?
I’ve never been divorced, never even married and see it a long way down the road, but I’ve been around divorce enough to believe that while this has its advantages to those two-week marriages that just were not meant to be — this is just way too far fetched.
Imagine if this ever came to America:
Scenario 1: You get in a fight, like all married couples do, and the “I hate you’s” start flying and on your cool-off walk you take your wonderful mobile phone — because you never leave home without it — and bada-boom bada-bing — you’re divorced.
Not bad enough?
Scenario 2: A guy and his pals have a bit too much to drink and then go to the strip club, where the girl — who you don’t know if she is joking or not — is willing to do the dirty with you. You, a married man — not wanting to cheat — just text messages the wife and — kazaam — you’re a free man and ready to see if the stripper will fulfill her end of the deal.
There is more.
Scenario 3: You, a not-so-wealthy man, happen to see a very wealthy woman and, well, decide to go for it. She agrees, you marry and then in months you hit her with a text message and you’ve got half her money.
Scenario 4: It’s your wedding day, your friends have tried to warn you not to go through with it but you’re convinced she’s “the one.” You make it through the wedding and you’re married. Later, at the reception, you’re dancing and having a good time and you spot your recently separated high school sweetheart looking better than ever. Text message “the one” and run off with “the new one.”
Scenario 5: You’re off to college, recently married to your high school sweetheart that you have been dating since ... well, you can’t remember how long. She’s going out of state and you are going to an in-state school. You know it will be hard, but you know she is your wife and the whole long-distance relationship can work. Welcome Weekend comes and your new roommates drag you off to the local club where the sea just got much bigger. Three little clicks later and you have a prize winning bass ready to take the bait.
Thankfully none of these options will ever be available in the states. After all, if this was an option, the divorce rate would be near 97.5 percent and every guy in the land would have a text-messaging phone.
However, Life Sports Editor Jason Witz is thinking about moving to Malaysia.
Life Editor Adam Trumble can be reached for comment at editor@cm-life.com.
